I woke up at 5 am this morning (if you can even call it that), to a dog barking in the distance. Tried to go back to bed. Couldn’t. Half of an hour goes by and this damn dog is still barking. By six I am furious, and about to go hunt down its owner and unleash my inner Pandora on it’s asshole owner. By 6:30 I have given up all hope on sleeping, and I begin to consider spontanious combustion as a means to an end. Me, or the dog. I’m not picky. The barking just needed to stop.
I need to rant here for a second so bear with me, or skip the next paragraph.
One, why do people own dogs that bark INCESSANTLY? Two, if you let your dog out and if barks to come in, let it in! Three, If you leave your dog outside, go to work and it barks until you get home, you my friend, are an asshole, and you deserve a flat tire on your way to work. Every. Single. Morning. Four, if I find you, you better run.
On to better things…like food!
I had lunch with my sister-in-law Katharine today. We ate at Harvest, where the menu options are almost all under 500 calories. Even a heifer like me can lick her plate clean without guilt! Which I pretty much did, after consuming my Salmon BLT. It was awesome.
Not nearly as awesome as Whole Foods, though. I know what your thinking, and no I have not been living under a rock. There just hasn’t been one around me, until now!
As we approach the newly built grocery mecca, I am riddled with questions. Is everything organic? Is it all healthy? Is it expensive? Why did I not budget for one of the adorable aprons on display in the entryway???
While inside, I discovered that I could probably set up camp in the middle of the store, and be happy for the rest of my life. Between the DRAFT beers, the brick oven pizzas, the free samples, and the live band setting up to play, I found a utopia, a type of nirvana I wasn’t sure existed. Basically, this place is a foodie’s dream. Or in my case, what I assumed heaven would be like when I (hopefully) get there. Except in my heaven, I’m 3 inches taller, ten pounds lighter, and the food I consume is all magically digested, free of consequence. You would love it there, we could even be friends, maybe.
Katharine and I decided that our next lunch date would be at Whole Foods, and not some fancy schmancy restaurant. We might even invite our husbands to come along for a beer!
After browsing the aisles, and learning (more than I needed to) about pink salt, I left whole foods with only one question…
When to go back?