Yesterday, I was sort of forced to leave these two, to go out and feign excitement, when I should have been spending time with them. It was a catch 22. Either way someone got hurt…
I did what I thought I should do and went to the bachelorette party that I had planned on attending for a few months now. And despite the heaviness, I was able to go out and have a good time. I think the bride did too!
There was a little of this
and a lot of this:
The day started off with a scavenger hunt. It was the perfect activity to help me loosen up and dive into the night. We scoured South Street for two hours trying to find a plethora of different item, and complete a number of different tasks. (Things like: playing thumb war with a cop, riding an animal, drinking directly from a beer tap, bringing back a caricature of your team, and making a fish face in the window of a bar, and doing a flaming shot.) Our team came in second place, and lost out on the $5 top prize 😉
After working up an appetite on the hunt, we headed to dinner at Distrito.
The menu is in Spanish, and our waitress was an old high school classmate. As to not embarrass myself, I just ordered the chefs tasting menu. And then I proceeded to eat more than any human should in one sitting. It was not pretty. I am proud that I tried everything; it was all delicious. The girls sung karaoke throughout the meal, and we were sufficiently obnoxious for the occasion.
Then we did the typical, dancing at a crazy packed bar, bachelorette stuff before heading home to retire for the night.
It dawned on me while I was standing in a room full of drunk people, that there are 5 types of girls that attend the bar. I am basing my findings solely on what people were wearing. I found it borderline comical.
1. There is the sexy slutty. This girl is dressed like she is either going to get laid, or just did. Generally, she is attractive, and can pull off the crazy short dress she is in due to her endlessly long legs and dishearteningly awesome body!
2. The ugly slutty. This fine specimen is attempting to be a “sexy slutty” but fails for a couple of reasons. She, unfortunately, does NOT have the body to pull of the short skirt and see through shirt, but does it anyways. And/or she has no idea what she is doing in the department of how to get a man, and in the process of doing so, has laid aside all respect for decency.
3. The not so slutty. This girl is usually attached, or not an idiot. She usually wears heals and jeans, and a dressy top, that can be re-purposed for another occasion. She dances like hell if she wants, but usually in a group. Doesn’t mind the attention from the inevidable drunk guy, but generally wants to dance with the girls, and lay low. (the girls in our party all fell within this group)
4. The couldn’t be slutty if they tried. I watched some girls come in wearing dresses/outfits, that I would wear to my grandmothers for tea. Or, jeans and tee, because its what they felt like putting on that day and didn’t make an effort to accommodate the occasion. (this is me. right here.)
5. The hot mess. Need I say more?
The thing about this list, is that every girl want to be a 3, but feel like a 1. (and its all to attract a perfect 10)